The class of 2019…
I have some news about this “make or break” moment in your lives!
Are you ready? It isn’t either of those options.
If you gave it your all and came out on top, if you gave it your all and your best wasn’t good enough; if you didn’t put your best effort into school or even if you put no effort into it… matric is not your only defining moment.
You’ll have many more opportunities to hustle and prove your mettle. That iron-willed determination to become what you believe kicks in for some later than others. You’re not a failure because the timeline of your progress reads differently to others’.
My matric results were not amazing. They were crap. I was only ready for the tertiary experience a full year after leaving school. Most everyone I knew back then seemed to be sailing through the transition from school to university. Not me.
Then, suddenly, things turned on in my brain box and I found my own stride. When I followed my heart, the rest of me switched on and I found that drive to make a success of that which I desired.
Sometimes we just need time…time to reconcile our true selves with the one we create for social acceptance, time to cut through the noise of accepted professions over artistic passions and time to find the courage to back ourselves and the goals that hold meaning to us.
There’s nothing in the school curriculum that teaches these skills, yet, here you are believing your matric results are some sort of indelible stamp on your future. It. Is. Not!
Last year, 20 years after leaving school, I decided to go for my second degree. As I reflected on my year, I realised that emotional maturity plays a large role in the type of success we have. Caught at the wrong moment in our teenage lives, we might let trauma make our decisions for us. Some people pursue popularity to cure rejection, others academia to earn respect or even escape.
Whatever it is, remember that you are not your mistakes. You can always correct the problem of poor choices by making the very next step you take, the right one.
The other thing I learned is that intelligence has been redefined in the 21st century, thank God!
I know people who didn’t finish school go on to take the stage at Ted where their ingenuity has changed the world. I also know people with fancy titles in front of their names who have left the world worse than they found it.
You are intelligent when you refine your natural ability to solve problems. Can you imagine Mother Theresa the actuary? Or Albert Einstein the farmer?
You define you. The opinions others have about you, formed on the basis of your academic performance are only projections of the author, not of you! It’s your opinion of you that matters most. It’s taken me two decades to land upon that truth.
So, don’t stare into the distance believing you’ve screwed yourself out of a life. The low energy burnout, the emotional fatigue is as a result of the a lethal cocktail of the false reality of success mixed with the misconception of failure.
This post-matric hangover has a cure though, found in the notion that there is only ever winning and learning. Let that soak in.
When you use your disappointment as a propellant to success as you define it, failure becomes rungs on the ladder of achievement.
I promise you, if you look at yourself from the vantage point of your future successes, you will someday be telling another matriculant to keep on keeping on.
Don’t think this message is only for those who didn’t do well. It’s also for the kids who burned both ends of the candle to get great marks and who now feel mentally broken. It’s also for the kids failing university even though they cracked the top honours in school. Take some time, heal your mind and keep on hustling. Everyday is new. Begin with the radical acceptance of where you are right now and what you need to change to get to where you want to be. Don’t think of the 10 next steps you need to take, just think of next single, right decision you can make. A series of single, correct steps will get you further than a 10 year plan frought with assumptions about your future self and future circumstances.
Last year I started studying, started my own business, and serviced all my family responsibilities and I still pulled 9 distinctions. I knew that I was in a more capable place at 37, than I would have been at 17.
So, I speak from experience when I tell you, matric does not define you.
Don’t make permanent decisions based on a temporary experience.
It's a heart thing!